This blog is in defense for God's design for the permanence of marriage between one man and one woman for life.(Genesis 2:24) Often some will use certain scripture to validate that God's word gives an instance or instances where the Lord Jesus Christ offers anything other than the permanence of marriage. The story of woman at the well (John 4) is one such case. The argument goes like this: "Jesus recognizes the woman's five husbands, therefore He recognizes five marriages as valid marriages. Thus, I can remain in a second marriage after divorce."The following is the response to this argument. As always, I pray that you test anything I write to the full council of God's word.
(KJV) John 4:3 He left Judaea, and departed
again into Galilee.
4 And he must needs go through
Samaria.5 Then cometh he to a city of Samaria, which is called Sychar,
near to the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. 6 Now Jacob's well was there. Jesus
therefore, being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well: and it was
about the sixth hour.7 There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water:
Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink. 8 (For his disciples were gone
away unto the city to buy meat.)
9 Then saith the woman of Samaria unto
him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of
Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans.
10 Jesus answered and said unto her, If
thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to
drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living
water.
11 The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou
hast nothing to draw with, and the well is deep: from whence then hast thou
that living water?
12 Art thou greater than our father Jacob,
which gave us the well, and drank thereof himself, and his children, and his
cattle? 13 Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this
water shall thirst again:14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I
shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be
in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.
15 The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me
this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.
16 Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy
husband, and come hither.
17 The woman answered and said, I have no
husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no
husband:18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is
not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly. 19 The woman saith unto him,
Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet.
20 Our fathers worshipped in this
mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to
worship. 21 Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when
ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father.
22 Ye worship ye know not what: we know
what we worship: for salvation is of the Jews.
23 But the hour cometh, and now is, when
the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the
Father seeketh such to worship him.
24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship
him must worship him in spirit and in truth.
25 The woman saith unto him, I know that
Messias cometh, which is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all
things.
26 Jesus saith unto her, I that speak unto thee am he.
The story of
the woman at the well is a great example of how God redeemed the world through
His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. The Lord Jesus Christ offers this Samaritan
woman living water. She believes that this “prophet” is offering her water that
will never make her thirst again. What she does not realize is that the Lord
Jesus Christ is offering Himself as her salvation. This woman knows the stories
of the prophets and that the long awaited Messiah will return. The Lord Jesus
says, “I that speak to you am he.”
No one will
argue that this story reflects the perfect example of the Gospel because here
was a woman who was living in sin, and the Lord offered Himself as the remedy
of that sin. Yet, the Lord makes it clear that true worshippers will worship
God in spirit and in truth. This woman cannot worship the Father until she
accepts the Son. We must remember that chapter 3 precedes this chapter. A
chapter famous for this verse.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his
only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have
everlasting life.
We know that in context, the story of the woman at the well is a direct
correlation to the Gospel. Yet, when it
comes to discussing the permanence of marriage with some, this story of the
Gospel often enters the conversation. Some will use this story as an example
that the Lord Jesus Christ recognizes the fact that this woman had five
husbands. They conclude that since the Lord recognized these husbands, that the
Lord also recognized the marriages as valid and approved marriages. Thus, anyone in a "remarriage" should not exit these "remarriages" less they would break another marriage. This is a fallacy because one must believe that the Lord approves "remarriages" as valid marriages when He does not. The context
of the argument is that since the Lord approved of these remarriages, anyone in
a current “remarriage” after divorce should view this new marriage as binding.
In his book, “The Momentary Marriage, A Parable of Permanence”, author
and pastor John Piper believes that “remarriages” after divorce are valid
marriages and therefore divorce of these “remarriages” is not required. Piper writes:
“Another reason I think remarried
couples should stay together is that when Jesus met the woman of Samaria, he
said to her, “You have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your
husband.” (John 4:18). When Jesus says, “The one have now is not your husband,”
he seems to imply that the other five were. Not that it’s right to divorce and
marry five times. But the way Jesus speaks of it sounds as though he saw them
as real marriages. Illicit. Adulterous to enter into, but real. Valid.”-page 170
I would strongly argue against this for a few reasons. First, Piper
assumes that these marriages are all “valid” marriages simply believing that
Jesus saw these five marriages as valid marriages. What if Jesus was making a
point to a woman that understood the laws of the day and that five marriages
were a possibility if the woman was "put away" five times according to the Law of
Moses? (Deut 24:1-4)
In the Lord’s time, certain Pharisees would accept a divorce for just about any
reason. Therefore, this woman would not understand anything other than believing
she was in five marriages simply because the five men put her away according to
the law. This could explain the fact that she did not bother getting married
anymore for fear of maybe being divorced again. This is assuming she was
married and divorced five times.
Another reason I strongly disagree with Piper’s logic is that we simply
do not have the factual evidence of how the five marriages ended. What if all
these marriages ended in the death of all five husbands? Could we not conclude
that the Lord did indeed recognize her marriages as valid marriages and that
her living with a man while not married is still sinful? If we assume that all
marriages ended in divorce, we know that this woman understood the laws of
divorce. Yet, we must refer to the other Gospels and the full counsel of God’s
word on how the Lord handled His view of divorce.
Mark 10:2And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for
a man to put away his wife? tempting him.3 And he answered and said unto
them, What did Moses command you? 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write
a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. 5 And Jesus answered and said
unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But
from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For
this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;8 And
they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
The Lord was engaging the woman on what she already understood about the
laws and that her five marriages were valid according to the laws of Moses.
This is no indication that the Lord approved of her five marriages. We know in
Mark’s account that the Lord only recognizes one man and one woman in a
one-flesh covenant for life.
Another reason I strongly disagree with Piper’s assessment is the actual
context of the verses in John 4. In verses 6 through 15, the Lord engages the
woman with seeking water from the well. The woman makes an assumption that a
Jew would not as much pass through Samaria let alone ask a Samaritan woman for
water. (John 4:9) Yet, we know the compassion of the Lord and He engages this
woman to offer her living water which is the gift of God.(John 4:10) He and the
disciples also stay in Sychar for two days. (John 4:43)
The woman asks the Lord if He is greater than Jacob. (John 4:12) The
Lord replies:
John 4:13 Jesus answered and said unto
her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again:14 But whosoever
drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water
that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into
everlasting life. 15 The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water,
that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.
This woman wants actual water
that never again makes her "flesh" thirst, yet the Lord is offering her so much more.
In contrast, God was in covenant with Jacob, yet this Man was indeed offering
her a better promise, a better way, a better life, and a better Covenant. Instead of telling her plainly that He is the
Messiah, the Lord first addresses the root of why he came into the world
and why she will continue to thirst with the water from this well. He asks her a question
that digs deep to her
very soul.
John 4:16 Jesus saith unto her, Go, call
thy husband, and come hither.
If you notice, the Lord did
not ask for ALL of her husbands, He asked for her husband, singular. This is
significant, because the woman has to not
only answer as to why she
does not have a husband, but she has to do so knowing she had five husbands.
What the Lord does is He exposes this woman’s condition. He asks a question
that is specific to why she needs living water. Her answer is simple. She says
that she has no husband. Is the answer to this question accurate? Why would she
answer with, “I have no husband, but I am living with a man that is not my
husband,…should I go call him instead?”
John 4:17,18 The
woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well
said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom
thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.
These “prophetic” words get the heart of the issue. The Lord is exposing
why this woman needs living water. It has nothing to do with us believing the
Lord would approve of her five husbands when He specifically asks for her singular
husband. We cannot use this story as an example to validate remarriages after a
divorce. In fact, every time the Lord speaks of a “remarriage” after divorce,
He calls this adultery. (Matthew 19:9; Mark 10:11, 12; and Luke 16:18)
Another reason to argue Piper's point is that the Lord Jesus Christ takes away the Law of Moses and replaces that law with the law of grace and truth. We as readers must remember that we live in the New Covenant and that a regenerated believer must view scripture under this pretense. We need to read John 4 and put this into context under the New Covenant. Yes, there are times when marriages become difficult, but it is usually because of a sin that needs repentance. A believer remains under the hand of God in any situation, including waiting in singleness should a prodigal spouse abandon the marriage. After all, we are in covenant with the Lord Jesus Christ. Thus, divorce is never an option for the believer.
In conclusion, the problem that people have with understanding that a “remarriage”
is not a valid marriage is a belief that God recognizes a “remarriage” as valid
when He calls it adultery. In the case of the woman at the well, we cannot make
a general assumption that the Lord recognized her marriages as valid simply by believing
that He referred to her five husbands. Under the Law of Moses, this woman did believe
that she was married five times that these men were her husbands. But, it very
clear that the man she was living with was not her husband and this was sin.
We have no record that this woman left this man she was living with to
walk in singleness. We have no record of her actions after she received news
that this man was eventually crucified by the Romans and on the third day He
rose from the dead and was seen by many. (Acts 8:5,6) What we do know is that she was
dramatically changed by the words of the Messiah. If this man was indeed the “Living
Water” that we all need, then what are the actions of those who see sin for what
it is and react accordingly? Will we walk in spirit and truth to worship the
Father?
Had this
woman rejected the words of spirit and truth by the “prophet” at the well,
would she receive this living water? The Lord exposed the sins in this woman’s
life because He wanted her to see that those who worship the Father must come
through the Son and worship Him in spirit and in truth. The Lord pointed to this woman’s need for a
Savior. The Father requires holiness and perfection which can only come through
faith in the Son who fulfilled the law completely. Do we understand that when
those who seek to know the Messiah, we can simply point to the Lord Jesus Christ
who says, “I that speak unto thee am he.”
John 4:21-24 Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour
cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship
the Father. Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship: for salvation
is of the Jews. But the hour cometh, and now is,
when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for
the Father seeketh such to worship him. God is a Spirit: and they that worship
him must worship him in spirit and in truth.
In Christ’s love,
Neil
