Sunday, July 30, 2017

Reflecting on 3 Years of MDR-Genesistwo24

It is well over three years since I started writing the Genesis2 blog for the defense of marriage as one man and one woman for life. I can honesty tell you I never believed that I would have this kind of ministry. I know there are other ministries of this kind, and I know there are many who believe like I do that the Bible defines marriage as one man and one woman for life. But I also see the serious problem in the institutionalized church, and how these institutions define marriage. In fact, it was the serious problems in these institutions which leaves me where I am today.

 It is that age old question, “Where do you think you will be five years from now?” If you had asked me this five years ago, I would have told you that I was currently looking for a solid, Bible-believing church. I had recently exited membership of Purpose Driven seeker-friendly church where I witnessed everything from the lack of financial accountability, embracing woman elders, and to listening to topical sermons which extracted Bible passages out of context. 

It was also around this time where I was starting to question the curriculum as facilitator in the DivorceCare ministry.  There were some things that did not add up in this program. I was also at the end of my period of remaining true to what I believed to be a marriage covenant. It was not surprising to me that the hurting people of divorce were quick to blame the actions of their spouse. Some of this blame was understandable and rightly so, but there are always three sides the story…the husband, the wife, and the Lord. Many of these people did not consider that the other spouse was not here to defend their actions, and maybe they had something to do with these actions. Regardless, it was clear to me that these hurting people wanted the easy way out.

But I must question. Is divorce the easy way out? I have personally found divorce to be a destroyer of much more than marriage. Divorce of itself is based on personal choice and selfishness. If you consider the actions of divorce, you must take into consideration the devastation it causes. There is the devastation of individual lives such as the husband or wife of divorce. There is the devastation of the children who have no say one whether they want to have parents who love each other. There is the financial strain…which ironically, many divorces occur because of financial woes. There is the breakdown of relationships. Friends of the marriage suddenly chose which side is in the right. There is the abandonment of church family…and this is the saddest part of all.

I am perplexed how the institutionalized church can be wonderfully creative and instrumental on performing and encouraging elaborate wedding ceremonies. They are instrumental in providing weekly premarital classes and marriage counseling. The presiding clergy even provide the signature on the marriage certificate so the couple can be recognized in civil law as husband and wife. …yet when the honeymoon is over and divorce is just around the corner…the church fades away.  

This was the problem I saw in DivorceCare. Church discipline was missing. Yes, it was mentioned briefly, but how many churches provide church discipline in the case of marriage woes? It is easier to provide “therapy” with the likes of a ministry such as DivorceCare than it is to save the marriage. I no longer am associated with DivorceCare and to me it is a threat to marriage and can only be called a monster and not a ministry. 

Just recently I listened to a Nov. 6 2007 “Are Evangelical Really Rethinking Divorce?” broadcast by Dr. Albert Mohler who is President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. (I encourage everyone to listen to this broadcast) This broadcast was discussing the Time magazine article which included David-Instone Brewer’s position on marriage, divorce and remarriage. What makes Brewer’s teaching so popular is that it provides ANY provision for divorce and remarriage. The reason I mentioned this broadcast is that the co-host with Dr. Mohler, Dr. Russel Moore, made a definitive statement about the shifting view of divorce from an evangelical perspective.   
 “You have Evangelicals churches now who have shifted on a view of divorce that at one time there was clear preaching and teaching about divorce as a sin, that moves into preaching and teaching about divorce as a tragedy…Now is moving in preaching and teaching of divorce as therapy. So at one time we would see divorce as a church disciplinable action that would have involved the entire church community…Now it’s just its own special Sunday school class, “we are now in the singles again class”…it’s (divorce) not seen as something as sin”- Dr. Russell Moore-Nov. 6th 2007

This statement is the truth. Divorce is no longer viewed as a sin, rather as therapy…and do not be that person who would think otherwise. Well, I am that person. I made the leap of faith some five years ago to expose the real problems in the clergy/laity system which I clearly noticed in the church I left as a member. If there are many failings of the institutionalized church, none are more devastating then what they preach, teach, and believe about marriage, divorce and remarriage (MDR).  The evangelical churches are quick to provide DivorceCare, rather than defend marriage. The thought is to get over your divorce as quickly as possible so that you can get remarried to fit in again to the chruchianity culture of “married” families.

Long before I understood the complexities of my own union of adultery, I began to have a clear view of marriage. I understood what it took to stand for a marriage, and it is only the grace of God that He let me do this knowing full well I was in an adulterous union for 20 years. It was around this time that I knew I had to react to this revelation. I immediately related to the co-facillitator of DivorceCare that I know longer supported this ministry and told the details of my own convictions.

It was also around this time I was attending a Bible church, not as a member, rather I was worshiping on Sundays. I had several conversations with the family pastor of this church and at one point was willing to introduce the DivorceCare program to him. Thank the Lord they did not use that information. I have since recanted my support for DivorceCare and he is fully aware of my position on MDR and he knows my testimony of my own adulterous marriage. While he is like many others understand my position, they cannot fully come to terms with the idea that a “remarriage” is not an adulterous union. This is mainly because they believe the clergy/laity system is ordained by the Lord, and that “remarriage” vows by their hand are marriage vows in the Lord. One saving grace is that he did mention that he will not “marry” divorced people…Dr. Mohler makes this point in the mentioned broadcast, but what power does this have if they think that there are provisions with exception clauses? 

The Genesis2 blog started shortly after my marvelous revelation that my own marriage was nothing more than an adulterous union. That day began with me typing a letter to her covenant husband asking his forgiveness of getting between a one-flesh covenant marriage. I had already dealt with this sin to the Lord, but there needed to be public declaration of this sin. That is when the Genesis2 blog came to be.

It was also during this time I sent out letters to churches asking them serious questions about MDR and accountability through church discipline(Mt 18:15-17) I bought several books on the MDR subject and corresponded through email with divorce and remarriage defenders such as David-Instone Brewer and Dr. Craig Keener. I also contacted nearly every “DivorceCare Expert” and told them the truth of MDR. I attempted to respond to my former pastor and area pastors about MDR, and did not receive any response except from those who defended the exception clause and abandonment excuse. One such response was phone call with the local AOG pastor who defend divorce and remarriage since his daughter was divorced and remarried. 

I also began to meet other champions of marriage through social media. In fact, this is where I have placed a Genesis2 group and page which I update on occasion. It was over the last several years I have written over 125 posts on marriage and have corresponded with ministries such as Focus on the Family, FamilyLife, and James Dobson Family Talk and divorce and remarriage defending bloggers on the www such as Ron Deal and his "remarriage" monstery. I have recently conducted a quick church accountability correspondence with various churches and ironically, or not so, this culminated with the events of Lysa Terkeurst’s public declaration and her association with mega Elevation Church. The results of these accountability findings were sad.

The bottom line is that marriage is under attack, and the institutionalized church is not the answer. The answer is individuals speaking the truth of marriage as one man and one woman for life, a reflection of the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. The answer is one-flesh married couples coming forward and speaking the truth about marriage. The answer is those who trust the Lord and will remain in their vows even in the most horrendous of cases. The answer is communities making marriages accountable through church discipline. The answer is supporting the abused and abandoned and not turning away. The answer is not therapy, the answer is calling divorce sin, and remarriage more sin of adultery.

 In conclusion, I will continue to stand in the gap and I will respond to the same questions on those who defend divorce and remarriage by proclaiming that marriage is one man and one woman for life… This is a simple plan which thwarts fornication cohabitation, adulterous union of remarriage, same-sex marriage, and gender redefinition. The plan of God for future existence of mankind is one man and one woman for life. No excuses, no exceptions. I have started to believe this five years ago and here I am today…I pray that in five years more people will see marriage as one man and one woman for life and that I can look back and see that evangelicals repented of what they were always taught to believe. Will you defend marriage as one man and one woman for life? What will you believe in five years about marriage?   

In Christ's love,


Thursday, July 6, 2017

The Hypocrisy of the "Restored and Remarried"

When I first saw this title of this post I was deeply saddened for the total disrespect for marriage. I could only imagine what the author of this article was willing to tell us about one-flesh covenant marriages…and how that God would not want us to divorce… Yet, the hypocrisy to make a “remarriage” work is in line with the thought that divorce is out of the question for a remarriage…then why would divorce be out of the question for a marriage? If the Lord does not approve of divorce from a one-covenant marriage, what would His words be to those who have divorced and remarried? The Bible tells us...if we would only walk in faith to believe...

The hypocrisy of these posts and these ministries are beyond question. But what is most alarming being how they are widely accepted today, as if divorce and remarriage are acceptable in the Lord’s sight… So, for these ministries to “help and minister” or to think they are helping and ministering those broken by divorce and struggling in remarriage, there needs to be certain presuppositions in place.
The question is whether these presuppositions are false or not.

These are the presuppositions for ministries like Restored and Remarried, FamilyLife Blended, Focus on the Family, etc…

  • Marriage is God’s "idea" (and/or intention) as one man and one woman for life, but there are specific permissions in the Bible which allow for divorce and remarriage.

  • A civil divorce paper ends a one-flesh covenant marriage.

  • A vow to another while your spouse of covenant is still alive, is approved by the Lord.

  • A civil “remarriage” paper begins a new marriage.

  • This “remarriage” is a marriage which is God’s "idea" (and/or intention) as one man and one woman for life, but there are specific permissions which allow for divorce and remarriage.

You can see this is a cycle determined not by the word of God, but rather by the flesh of a person who believes marriage is something that can be redefined from the beginning. (Gen 2:24) If any of these presuppositions are false, then ministries like this are NOT ministries in the Lord. I believe the word of God proves that all these presuppositions are false and they misrepresent marriage, the Gospel, and the Lord Jesus Christ.

For these “remarriage” ministries to be successful, one must buy into the idea of these erroneous presuppositions. Well it is very easy for the world to understand this, as those of the world live for the things of the world. This the condition of the heart; a heart that is not set on remaining faithful to the Lord and His institution of marriage. It starts with the first presupposition, and that once you have a false view of marriage, you can create a world that appeases your desires of the flesh. 

The first presupposition for ANY marriage ministry (Yes, marriage, not “remarriage”) MUST be that marriage is one man and one woman for life. There is significant scripture which supports this. (Gen 2:24; Mt 19:4-6; Mk 10:6-9; Ro 7:2,3; 1 Cor 7:10,11,39; Eph 5:31,32) What happens is that whenever you see “remarriage” ministries like this, they will ALWAYS rely on a few ambiguous passages (In particular, Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 and 1 Cor 7:15) rather than take into account the entire word of God. 

For the sake of the length of this post, I have included a link to a past post of mine which deal with the Matthew’s account of the “exception clause” and the Pauline privilege of 1 Cor 7:15. I also included a link to the thought that a marriage can end in “spiritual death”.

 Simple Responses To Exceptions and Privileges

“My husband Gil and I have been married for fourteen years—remarried that is.” 

Brenda, based on the presupposition that marriage is one man and one woman for life, where in scripture do you find that God approves and validates “remarriages”? You will not find any. There are no scriptures that defend divorce and remarriage. None. In fact, everywhere we see a “remarriage”, or a “marriage after divorce” in scripture, “remarriage” is an adulterous union. (Mt 5:32; 19:9; Mk 10:11,12, Luke 16:18; Ro 7:2,3) 

“We were both active and involved in our churches before we met, so we never thought we would find ourselves on this side of the marriage fence.”

If “remarriage” is defined as an adulterous union (Mt 5:32; 19:9; Mk 10,11; Luke 16:18) then why do you call this union a marriage? Marriage is one man and one woman for life (Gen 2:24; Mt 19:4-6; Mk 10:6-9) and it is a sin to defile a marriage. (Heb 13:4) You are not in a marriage, you are in adultery, and the fruits of repentance is to leave this adulterous union. You need to tell the truth.

“Divorce was not in our plan.”

That is correct. When you say "our", please do not assume that it is your choice to decide how your marriage can end. The Lord Jesus Christ makes it clear that divorce CANNOT end a one-flesh covenant marriage, thus your vows of remarriage, the civil papers of divorce AND remarriage, are worthless. ONLY DEATH CAN END A ONE-FLESH COVENANT MARRIAGE! (Ro 7:2,3) Scripture is quite clear in this matter.

“Yet, both of us found ourselves divorced, healing, dating again, and asking, “How do I make my remarriage work?”

You both, and many, many others like you decided to ignore the word of God and ignore the Holy Spirit to appease your own flesh and follow the teachings of men rather than live in the spirit and follow the Lord. You are both commanded by the Lord to remain in covenant…to remain single and separated the rest of your lives, or reconcile the marriage. (1 Cor 7:10,11) These are your ONLY options. Instead you are both committing adultery against your spouses of covenant before the eyes of the Lord. 

“God can lovingly heal the harmful effects of divorce as He continues His work of restoration in your remarriage.”

God can lovingly restore the marriage when the sin which is threatening the marriage is settled through proper church discipline (Mt 18:15-17), repentance of sin, forgiveness of sin, reconciliation, and the restoration of the marriage. Your ministry redefines marriage! You will do all you can in your power to save “adulterous unions”, by telling us these are marriages “in the Lord”. That is a lie, and hypocrisy.

“A huge ripple effect was created by “the great train wreck,” our divorces. These non-welcoming, painful ripples have been felt by our kids, other family members, and friends.”

It started with the lies that a divorce can end a one-flesh covenant marriage and the presupposition that marriage is NOT one man and one woman for life. This is due to the traditions of men through false exegete of the scriptures through the Westminster Confession of Faith. The Holy Spirit will always convict you that a marriage is bound in Heaven and no man can put this covenant asunder. You are teaching your children lies. You want to give the same advice to “remarriages” as you would to marriages, and even go as far to say that “divorce” is never an option for “remarriage”. You hypocrites! Wake up! You need to repent of your lies and repent from all the people you deceived. 

I beg you in the mercy and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit to repent of this false teaching! You have no authority to defend marriage when you are living in a state of adultery, and then telling others to do the same. God have mercy on you.

“But God can lovingly heal the harmful effects of divorce as He continues His work of restoration in your remarriage.”

The Holy Spirit calls you to repent from your lies and hypocrisy. Considering the divorce never ended your marriage, you must leave your adulterous union and reconcile to your spouse of covenant. Unfortunately, they too may have gone off and did the same thing you did..believing the same lies. Thus, the consequences of your choices will be hard to bare unless you remain in Christ and speak the truth to those you deceived…your readers, your followers, your children, and your church.

I have long since wrote a post on what it takes to make things right. I pray the Lord leads you to the truth of marriage - Dear Convicted Remarried Believer,

In conclusion, I pray that ministries like “Restored and Remarried” and Ron Deal’s “FamilyLifeBlended” would repent and speak life back into those you have deceived. Please know that I would support you 100% and there are many like me who stand on the truth of marriage as one man and one woman for life. No excuses, no exceptions! Because marriage by definition will always and forever be a representation of the Gospel and the Lord Jesus Christ’s love for His Church. (Eph 5:31,32)

In Christ’s love,