The article above is a letter a woman wrote to her daughter’s stepmother. After reading, it was more than obvious that there is a huge problem with this letter. It simply lacks truth.
Yes, there is grace in this letter. There is forgiveness. There is acceptance. These are all noble attributes that deserve kudos. Yet, without truth, these attributes remain fuzzy and unclear.
Let me explain.
If I were to say to you that I forgive you for murdering my son, but you believed murder was acceptable, would my act of forgiving you really matter to you? Here is another thought…If I murdered your child, and you forgave me, would forgiveness really have any value if I believed that murdering your child was acceptable?
This letter is much like this. A woman forgives, accepts, and befriends her daughter’s stepmom, but we never really understand why she needs to forgive her in the first place. If she believes divorce ends a marriage, and then remarried another man, why would she have a problem with her husband marrying another woman? Or why would she have a problem with her daughter’s step-mom if her daughter has a new step-dad?
This is why this letter is very deceptive and cunningly evil.
The most significant problem with this letter is that it makes marriage insignificant. Here is a woman who can forgive and accept a woman for being a step-mom, when all the while she has ill enough feelings for her child’s father…enough so that she will not, she cannot, and she did not forgive him in marriage. Understandably, we do not have the knowledge on why and how the divorce occurred. That alone should make us question this letter. That should be everyone’s first question too. Why did they divorce in the first place?
There is a glaringly self-righteousness tone to this letter. This woman wants to make it clear in this letter that God’s design for marriage is according to her, and not God. This letter is so full of self-centeredness, it should be blatantly obvious to the believer. This woman is “happy” in her new marriage and “content” with her daughter’s stepmom, therefore this letter is acceptable to a world that thinks just like her. Her contentment in a second marriage is the reason for this letter.
This letter has nothing to do with the love of Christ.
If there was agape love, she would remain in singleness and write a letter telling that her husband and her daughter’s step-mom are in adultery. Should they both repent, the letter would save their souls. She would also show her daughter that divorce is not an option in a marriage covenant and that any remarriage is adultery. Instead, she glorifies sin in this letter… and teachers her child to do the same.
This letter glorifies divorce and remarriage.
Marriage is not something we do for a time and if it doesn’t work out, we can divorce and remarry someone else. If a woman loves her daughter’s step-mom because she thought that her marriage vow was not that big of a deal, why would we even have bitter feelings toward step-mom to begin with? It is obvious that this letter makes a conclusion that divorce is acceptable, and so are remarriages. Anyone who reads this and sympathizes with this letter needs to read the word of God. Divorce is hardheartedness and remarriage is adultery. This letter reeks of sin.
This letter sins against the children.
A child should never have to deal with two parents that do not want to be one flesh. Divorce is saying that your vows of marriage mean nothing. That has a profound impact on a child’s life. It is most likely this woman’s daughter will get married, and divorce. The odds are not in her favor. Combine this with a twisted mother who divorced and remarried and then approves and admonishes her daughter’s stepmother, and you have a classic case of causing little ones to sin.
This letter tells the story of marriage today.
Marriage will always be one man and one woman for life. If we view this letter as nothing more than complete rubbish, we need to go back and read the word of God. This letter distorts marriage and makes a mockery of God and His word. The many responses to this letter include the many who divorced and remarried. These responses epitomize the shape of marriage today. Unfortunately, this is evident in the evangelical church and it would not surprise me if this woman would claim to be an evangelical Christian.
This letter makes me sad.
When I first read this letter, I was angry. I was angry because this letter makes a perversion of marriage and seeks to glorify sin. Then I became sad. Sad because so many are deceived when they read this letter. The deception come in believing that marriage is anything but a one-flesh covenant until death. If I were to write a letter to this woman it would read something like this:
Dear woman of the viral letter, “An Open Letter to My Daughter’s Stepmom”,
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, please consider this exhortation. Marriage is a one-flesh covenant between one-man and one woman for life. You made that vow to your husband and God was a witness. Your divorce does not end a marriage covenant. Your vow to your husband stands in heaven, thus if you remarried, you and your unlawful husband are in adultery. Thus, your first husband is in adultery and so is your daughter’s stepmother. You all need to repent of your sin less you die in your sin.
Repentance is turning away from your sin of adultery and reconciling with your covenant husband. The same forgiveness you offer to your daughter’s step-mom needs to be evident to your husband. By divorcing and remarrying, you only show the hardness in your own heart and the self-centeredness of your soul. The same goes for your husband and your daughter’s stepmother. They must repent.
Your selflessness and self-righteousness is evident in this letter. You are causing more harm than good. Your letter is incomplete because Christ came in grace and truth. Your letter has no truth in it. You believe that you are gracious, yet you are only confirming this grace through your acceptance of sin and self-gratification of your own remarriage. You are also causing your daughter to sin by making her believe that “remarriage” and blended families are acceptable by God.
Perhaps you are deceived by the false evangelical church that divorces and remarries as the world divorces and remarries. God’s word does not lie. Divorce is hardheartedness and remarriage is adultery. When you speak of God, do you know that He will hold you accountable to your vow of marriage? Please, by the mercy of God, repent of this letter. Repent of your remarriage, and repent of believing a divorce ever ends a one-flesh marriage covenant. You deserve to know the truth, your husband and your daughter’s stepmom needs to know the truth…your daughter needs to know the truth.
In Christ’s love,