Two Questions That Answer Themselves

There are two questions that almost are surely to come when someone is convicted that all remarriages after divorce of living spouse is adultery. (Please read the other posts on this subject
Here, here, and here)

The questions are illogical because these questions answer themselves.

The first question goes like this….

Would God want me to sin by divorcing from another marriage?

The thought behind this question is that the person asking this question must assume or believe that God approves of adultery.

If they believe it is a “sin” to divorce, then they have to believe that their first divorce was sinful. If there first divorce was sinful, why would they believe it is sinful to divorce from a second “marriage” that is proven to be adultery? If the person is convicted that the remarriage is adultery, he or she must also try to convince themselves that the second marriage ceremony and vow were invalid.


The question arises because the world, and the majority of the evangelical church believes, recognizes, encourages and participates in remarriages after divorce. Yet, it is the word of God that has truth, not the popular, charismatic and famous Pastors, authors, and scholars.

Far too many people will listen to men like Piper, MacArthur, and Stanley, or their own Pastor, then they care to listen to the Holy Spirit. The assumption is that if the world divorces and remarries, and John MacArthur says that I can remarry, it must be true. 

This is very dangerous. If the Holy Spirit convicts you that your remarriage is nothing more than adultery, then it is “sinful” to remain in your remarriage. 

Divorcing from a one-flesh covenant marriage appeases the world system and the things of the flesh. Divorcing from remarriage adultery appeases the Lord and is a witness to others of the eternal things of God. Divorcing from a remarriage that is adultery will show the world that you will recognize the sin of remarriage, the sanctity of the marriage covenant and the willingness to remain obedient to Christ.

If your covenant spouse remarried after the divorce, it is imperative they understand your convictions and witness your actions. Remaining in singleness and honoring the one-flesh covenant will not come without consequences. The bond you had with adulterous partner may have been a loving relationship, and to sever this bond will not be easy. But this is the price of disobedience.  

More on this here... Dear convicted believer

The other question that answers itself goes something like this…

 What about the children of this remarriage?

The thought is that God would not want a child to go through divorce, especially a Christian marriage. The problem again is that this adulterous union is not a marriage in the Lord. (1 Cor  7:39) Obedience to God after repenting of a sin will always have consequences. Entering into an adulterous union and having children does not make the remarriage any less adulterous. The children need to know the truth about marriage and there is no better lesson than to live that out in obedience by telling them the truth that mommy and daddy are repenting from adultery.

This is not an easy thing to do and it certainly would not be what the world would do. However, we need to raise our children in the way of the Lord. Is it easier to tell a child that mommy and daddy did not obey God and birthed that child into sin; therefore, they must raise the child separate from each other because they want to obey God?

On the other hand, is it easier to explain to our children that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce because daddy loves someone else?

We have no problem ruining a child’s life with adultery and divorce based on the selfishness of the flesh, yet we will not tell them the truth and do what is right in the Holy Spirit. A child will grow into an adult and will need to make adult decisions. They need to see that marriage is permanent, and forgiveness is divine. I have no clear statistics of how many children of divorce grow up to divorce themselves but I am sure those numbers are relatively high. This is not to mention the scars of divorce from a childhood often remain deep into adulthood.

Children need to hear and see the truth about God, His word and marriage. That is the responsibility of every parent.

We are to please God and not man. We have no problem divorcing our spouse, disobeying God and His word and breaking a family apart with divorce yet we will not be obedient to God by repenting of sin and justifying His word. We will lie to our children and tell them that there is a tooth fairy, Santa Clause, and the Easter bunny. We will tell them that mommy and daddy just do not love each other anymore. We will tell them that mommy or daddy loves someone else as if telling them that divorce and remarriage is acceptable.

Now is the time to tell our children, our family our friends the truth of God’s covenant of marriage. We need to tell our children that we can repent and seek forgiveness.

We glorify God when we become obedient to His word. We cannot keep His word perfectly but we can seek to honor His word by His grace and forgiveness of our sins. Repenting of adultery will have consequences if we have children from these adulterous unions. However, God always does His greatest work through a repentant heart. He will take the repentance of an adulterous union and work through the lives of our children.

A child needs the truth. If a couple has children through adultery, they need to make the child aware that they have sinned and disobeyed God’s word. They need to separate but remain in the lives of the children as the parents of the child. This somewhat mirrors the roles of a divorced couple that continued to raise their children through separation. The difference is that the repentant couples honor God through their separation. This process is not like divorce because the couple is obeying God. Their actions in raising the children will be in a deep love for each other because both parents love God. What would be the impact on a community of a family that honors marriage through a repentant adulterous couple? The world witnesses plenty of divorced couples but how will the world react to repenting adulterous couples who honor the word of God?

In conclusion, the grace and truth of the LORD Jesus Christ is evident in the one-flesh covenant of marriage. Unfortunately, it is the faulty and erroneous teaching of the evangelical church that has done irreparable harm to the definition of marriage. One would think that the love of the world would be responsible for marriage redefinition and that the church would stand solid against divorce and remarriage. Sadly, the evangelical church has so embraced the world, that one can hardly discern the truth anymore.

But there is hope…There is always hope in the LORD Jesus Christ. He has never changed. He is merciful to the repentant and gives grace to the humble heart. The word of God is the discerner of hearts and is quickening the spirit to react according to the Holy Spirit and not according to the world. Repenting and leaving your remarriage is not a popular thing to do in a world that embraced self-gratification and temporal treasures. But time and time again we are called to take up the cross and follow the LORD....for we are to store up treasures in Heaven.

Will we be a Church that lives holy lives in obedience to Christ, or we be just like the world? I beseech you in the love of Christ to consider words of exhortation so that your works and deeds will be a pleasing aroma unto the LORD. Repent of remarriage adultery and shine the light of Christ in a world in desperate need of grace and truth.   

In Christ’s love,

Neil