Monday, January 12, 2015

Take Off the Blindfold



  • If you believe that God approves divorce ...you are blind.
  • If you believe your "remarriage" is marriage...you are blind.
  • If you believe the Lord gave us an exception clause for adultery...you are blind.
  • If you believe your blind pastor, you will become just as blind.
Take it from someone who blindly believed this for 20+ years. I entered into what I believed to be marriage. I made hollow vows before God and men. I ignored clear scriptures, knowing I had no business dating a married woman, let alone believing I could marry her after a subsequent divorce. What I entered into was sanctified adultery. I believed that marrying someone who divorced from a living spouse was legitimate in the eyes of God when His word calls this adultery. Yes, I know some will read this and think since my life is ruined, I have concocted or twisted the word of God to suffocate my pain of divorce. Some believe that my stance on marriage derives from a bitterness of being rejected as a husband. Some believe that my stance on marriage derives from a desire for vengeance against a corrupted system. Some know that my love is not defined according to the standards of this world.

The truth be known that what a man sows, he will also reap. A realization that a one-flesh union of over 20+ years is suddenly ended with the words..."I do not love you anymore"...this union, though adultery, does not separate on the dotted lines...There is pain unmeasurable...rejection that cannot be explained...A void that penetrates the soul. Believing to be married, and not being married always comes with consequences. God is not mocked. A man who believes he can sin and get away with it is a man destined for eternal damnation. There is a price to pay for adultery. I am paying the price. Be sure your sins will find you out.

David killed Uriah after he committed adultery with Bathsheba. The results of these sins plagued David the rest of his days. God forgave David after he repented. (Ps 51) But the consequences of that sin caused the death of his first child with Bathsheba. What we never see or read in this story are the words David had for Bathsheba. We know that she mourned for the death of Uriah, but what did she feel knowing it was David who murdered him? What words did David have for her? Did Bathsheba forgive David for the death of Uriah?

No one but God knows the tears I have shed over the last 9 years. Some of those tears are for the pain I inflicted on myself. It is those times where I do not forgive myself for what I have done. I think of my selfish lustful desire to enter a relationship that God wanted to restore. I think of the testimony of a man who for ten years mourned the loss of his wife. Though I never murdered him, I took his sheep from his grasp. I disobeyed the very word of God. The only way to restore my relationship with God is to repent what I have done. But there is the consequences to pay.  

An adulterous one-flesh relationship of 20+ years comes with consequences. God commanded Hosea to marry Gomer, and look at the price he paid. Hosea's marriage to Gomer allegories the adultery Israel committed against the Lord God, yet God never forsake His bride. What price is there to pay for a man who believes he marries another man's wife? Paltiel son of Laish wept as Michal returned to David. Paltiel believed that he was married to Michal, yet she was already betrothed to David. Were Paltiel's tears real for Michal? Did he love her despite his error? Was he really married to Michal? What are the consequences for this sin? Was Paltiel's pain real?

These consequences of sin pale in comparison with the knowledge of salvation though repentance of sin and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Though at times my pain is real, it would serve nothing to remain silent of my salvation. Blindness can be deadly if one does not take off the blindfold to see the light. If one removes the blindfold, there will always be the consequences of what that blindness sowed. Yet, there is restoration in store for those who seek to repent and remain obedient to the Lord. The Light of the World brings peace and restoration to the dark places of the soul.

My testimony of adultery is not popular today. If my testimony of my believing I was married and waiting till death or restoration of what I believed to be my marriage was convicting, my admission of 20+ years of adultery is more than some care to listen to. I once believed that marriage is till death and would stay single until she came back to restore the marriage. I pointed at the man who stole my wife...but ...really... I was pointing at me...in the mirror. I stole her from her husband...who was I to point fingers when I am a murderer and an adulterer?

I plead with all of you. Divorce is death. It is a self-gratified action that promotes murder and adultery. God wants to restore covenant marriages. His word, His Gospel, His Son all point to marriage restoration. Even those marriages that seem all but lost. Time and time again, throughout the history of the bible, the Lord does the restoration, does the fighting, wins the battles. Marriage destruction is the enemies playground and God calls us to trust Him and Him alone to fight the spiritual battles of our souls.  

There are many obedient spouses who stand for the restoration of their marriage. They pray that God will restore their wayward spouse. Their pain is real. Their tears are real. They trust the Lord because He has never forsaken them. Some of those tears of the last nine years fall because of the pain I feel from the pain of others. I pray in tears for those who suffer in divorce. Those who wanted it, those who did not, and the children....no child should ever experience this.

I plead with you. If you are in adultery, you need to repent. The consequences will be there. No question. But our only salvation is in a relationship with the One who loves us with an eternal love. The Lord Jesus Christ is all we need. When we get this relationship where He wants it to be, He will give us the desires of our heart. Take off the blindfold. Do not rely on fleshy experiences, emotions, feelings, false teachings and signs. Trust the word of God. You deserve the truth, your family deserves the truth, and your children deserve the truth. Most of all, God commands it of us.

The church has been and continues to be deceived into believing that divorce and remarriage will solve our difficult marriages. No...Only complete surrender to the Lord Jesus Christ will enter you into a marriage of eternity. If we do not first commit to a life in Christ, we will never really know the true love of Christ. This love is an eternal love, and not relegated to temporal bodies of the flesh. True worshipers worship in spirit and in truth. The Holy Spirit will always convict you of sin and quenching the Holy Spirit and living for the temporal pleasures of the flesh bring sin, and sin left unchecked brings death. In this life, and the life to come.

Since God hates divorce and calls "remarriage" adultery, the Holy Spirit will convict you that divorce is not an option and your remarriage is nothing more than adultery. Your hope and faith needs to be in the author of marriage who is Christ. A one-flesh marriage covenant is until death. Not because I said so, but because God says so. Your pastor will tell you differently, your friends will tell you differently, your adulterous partner will tell you differently,...the word of God does not return void. Trust the word and believe the word. I love you enough to tell the truth, so help me God.
In Christ’s love,

Neil

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi, Neil. I'm a stander and really like your perspective. I run the facebook Community page "Unilateral Divorce is Unconstitutional" and the blog "7 Times Around the Jericho Wall", where I'd love to reshare this with your permission.

There's just one phrase that struck me as confusing: "If you believe the exception clause is adultery..you are blind". I know what you meant, but since some readers might not, I wondered if it could be clarified "If you believe Jesus gave us an exception clause for adultery..you are blind" ? On my blog site I have the option of going back and editing things in published pieces, but it re-publishes with the original date. This is such a great piece you've done, I hope you won't take offense at my suggestion. You don't have to post this comment necessarily, but my page has about 130 followers, and I'd love to re-share this once that small clarification is made. Message my page if you'd like: https://www.facebook.com/nofaultequalsnoaccountability

"standerinfamilycourt.com"

Neil Novotnak said...

Thank you for the correction, Anonymous. I believe your correction is much more accurate and should clarify the point that marriage is a one-flesh covenant for life. No excuses, no exceptions.

Feel free to use any of my blog posts for speaking the truth about the permanence of marriage. I always try to combine grace and truth in these posts so that people will repent from adultery remarriages.It is many like you who "stand" for not only the truth of marriage, but for the truth of the Gospel. God bless you as you remain in Him!

Anonymous said...

I agree with you Neil. Add me and my wife to your prayers, for reconciliation.