Can someone say that the reason they can remain in a second marriage after divorce is because they were not saved until after they remarried?
My answer is, yes, they can say it, but it is far from true.
Why? There are several reasons.
- Marriage is God’s design because both a man and a woman were
created as one, separated as two to become one again. This creation of God (marriage)
is one of the visible examples of Christ’s love for His church (Eph 5:31,32)
Also, the invisible things of God are made known to every man, woman and child so
that there is no excuse.
Romans 1:20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: A fool in his heart says there is no God. Someone cannot say that he or she did not know that God and that marriage is something other than God’s creation. Thus, the excuse that they can divorce and remarry without knowledge of God and that marriage is a lifetime covenant is simply that, an excuse.
- A marriage vow comes with a person making a statement to his
or her spouse and other witnesses that he or she will remain in the marriage
for good times, bad times, sickness, health, till death do they part. A
marriage vow is universally understood by everyone, regardless of culture.
Where people error is believing that this vow can end in other ways than death. Unfortunately, the evangelical church (small “c”) has
already provided loopholes should a person not keep the marriage vow. Well that
would not make marriage a covenant anymore, would it? In fact, loopholes to
divorce turn God’s covenant design into a contract. Thus, this makes the vow
Yet, the evangelical church will claim that marriage is a covenant.Some churches will only marry a believer to a believer. They often quote 2 Cor 6:14 which simply says a believer is not to yoke with an unbeliever. Most churches will not marry someone until they make a commitment to Christ, or at the very least, take a pre-marriage course. Yet, other churches will marry anyone regardless of their faith. The current example of this are those churches who recognize same-sex marriages.Some churches will marry unbelievers, but will include the fact that marriage is God design. Can a person who was married to an unbeliever make a claim that they did not know marriage was for life?
Unfortunately, believers marry unbelievers. It happens. Does that not make it a marriage anymore? Of course not. God will recognize a marriage even if a believer disobeyed Him by yoking themselves with unbeliever. This is why a marriage vow is the second most important decision of your life next to your faith in Christ.
- A person who says they were not saved after their second marriage is contradicting the Bible and the teachings of the church. This is also a fallacy statement. If you said you were not saved after a divorce, no pastor, priest or man of God will ever marry you a second time because you would have to make a claim that you were not saved before your second marriage. Unless this is a liberal church who cares little for the Lord Jesus Christ much less the covenant of marriage. If they do not care about your commitment of faith, they will not care to tell you that you are in sin and headed to judgment.
- The most important fact is that the Lord Jesus Christ makes
it clear that all "marriages" (second, third, etc.) after divorce are adulterous unions. (Matthew 5:32,
19:9; Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:2,3; 1 Cor 7:10,11,39) The only
option for BOTH spouses in a hardhearted decision to divorce is to remain single or
reconcile the marriage. Remarriage is never an option. I covered this biblical response in many previous posts.
Unfortunately, the self-professing Reformed and Catholic caste systems will tell you otherwise. In fact, the confusion and contradiction they present in their various views on marriage, divorce, and remarriage should be your first clue. These institutions are not to be trusted with handling and performing your second marriage if they cannot defend your first marriage as a covenant until death. If you believe them, you must ignore clear teaching in the Bible to defend your stance to remain in a remarriage after the divorce of a living spouse.
In conclusion, marriage is God’s design from the beginning. As believers, it is our responsibility to keep and defend marriage as God intends it to be. Understandably, we are in a fallen world that will marry, divorce and remarry. However, a blood bought believer lives in the age of grace and truth. If you came to faith in Christ after your second marriage, and your first covenant spouse is alive, you need to exit your remarriage. You need to tell your family the truth. You need to tell your living covenant spouse the truth. The world will not understand, but we are not to live of the world.
This act of obedience will show a world what a new life in Christ looks like. It will also show the generations after you that you stood for truth. If you had children in an adulterous union, you need to show them the truth about marriage and that breaking away from adultery and remaining single glorifies God. They in turn will view marriage how Christ views marriage…a lifetime covenant no man may break. They will shine the grace of Christ to their spouse in marriage and never, ever believe that divorce is an option. Regardless of the actions of their spouse. There is more on this in my post entitled "Dear convicted remarried believer"
If we do not put God at the center of our lives, we will never put God as the center of our marriage. God is with us IN marriage. Marriage is two that become one for life. The Lord Jesus Christ will extend the grace necessary to remain in the most difficult times. The times we break away to what seems right in our own eyes will be the times we disobeyed the Lord. There is always consequences of sin, but there is grace to those come before the Lord with a humble and contrite heart.
Isaiah 57:15 For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.In Christ's love,