Marriage: God’s way, or our way?

The following is a hypothetical demonstration by taking God’s definitions of marriage and roles of a man and woman in marriage and applying these standards to a society. At first, we need presuppositions in place that make up the framework of marriage and the family. These views are based on scripture from the Bible.
These are the presuppositions:

God is the creator of all things (Gen 1:1; John 1:1;Romans 1:20; Hebrews 11:3)  and all that He created was good (Gen 1:31;1 Tim 4:4). God created man in His image (Matthew Gen 1:27;19:4; Mark 10:6) and provided a helper (woman) that was suitable for him (Gen 2:18;1 Cor 11:9). This man and woman are spiritual equal in every way to God. (Gal 3:28)  However, God designed them separately with compatible physical appearances to compliment and help each other to perform the purposes in which they were created.(1 Cor 11:9) A man and a woman joined as one flesh defines marriage for the purpose of procreation (Gen 1:28) , providing a structured family for raising children into adulthood (Proverbs 13:22;Proverbs 22:6; Eph 6:4, 2 Tim 3:15) and is an example of Christ’s relationship to His church (Eph 5:22-33). A man is to oversee, protect, govern and provide for his wife as the weaker vessel according to God’s standards (Eph 25:28; Col 3:19; 1 Peter 3:7). A woman is to submit to the man because he is under the authority of God (1 Cor 14:35; Eph 5:22-25; Col 3:18). She must remain under his protection to help him perform his purpose. By doing so, she submits under the authority of God in accordance to His will. 

Since this is the standard of marriage, it must be said that human procreation can only take place between a man and a woman. Therefore, sexuality can only take place between a man and a woman within the confines of marriage. All children will come from this union of man and a woman. These children will be raised within this family in accordance to God’s design. A young boy will learn from the father on how to become a man. The young daughter will learn from the mother on how to become a woman.

The man will teach the boy how to obey the standards that God has designed for the purpose of a man. This is to prepare the boy for the future and that his responsibilities to his future family will be in accordance to God’s design. The boy will observe his father’s actions towards his wife and family so that he may exemplify these same traits to his future family.

The woman will raise a daughter to live in accordance to the standards set by God. She will learn to be a helper for a man because she will see the actions of her father towards his family. This will be essential for her future because she will long to find a husband that will take care of her. Her best example for a husband will be found in the actions of her father. Her knowledge of how to help her future husband will be evident in the actions of her mother.

God designed marriage to make us holy. If this is played out within society as a family that adheres to the standards of God’s design for man, woman, children, husband, wife, and family, we would not see many of these areas of sin that plague our society today. Such as…

1. There would be no more sexuality outside of marriage (fornication).. Sexuality would be between a man and a woman within marriage. Sexual intimacy for a man and a woman in marriage is God’s creation. There would be no perversion of this union because it would be the desire of a married couple. This sexuality would not be exploited because the union is God’s will and perfectly acceptable. A young man would be obligated to find a woman that most represents the attributes of his mother because he would seek someone who would best help him to raise his children according to God’s standards. This is not because he feels obligated to please God but because this is what God best desires for him. A young woman would seek a man that fits the attributes of a caring, loving and faithful father who loves his wife and his family because he loves God. This is God’s desire for a woman. A woman wants a man who cares for her and exemplifies the attributes of God. She willingly submits to any man who loves God’s desire for a wife and family. The desires of a man for his wife are not centered in lust, but rather in love for God’s design for marriage. Sexuality is not just a part of marriage it is God’s design for His love for His creation. Sexuality must remain within these confines of marriage. Any sexuality outside of marriage is a direct assault on God’s purpose for our lives.
2. There would be very few orphans in the world… The only orphans in the world would be from parents who died. Even then, other families that were unable to have children would adopt these children.
3. There would be no prostitution... A woman would desire a man according to God’s design for a man within marriage and not use her body in sin. I have no idea of the number of woman who live as prostitutes, but I do know that a great majority of them never had a father, let alone a family who lived according to God’s standards. 
4. No more sexual exploitation of God’s creation…The lust driven entertainment industry would dry up…No more sex scenes in movies, no more sexual persuasive commercials, no more provocative clothing, and no more pornography.  This would spell bad news for any entertainment industry that exploits the image of God. and is aa sounding board that uses the Lord's name in vain. Anything associated with sexual exploitation would die on the vine. God’s design for marriage leaves human sexuality under the covers. There would be no exploitation of a woman because woman would not be viewed as sexual objects but as children of God. It would be clearly understood that anyone who perverts the image of a woman (or a man), perverts the very image of God.  
5. No more divorce... God’s design for marriage is for His creation on this earth. Marriage between a man and woman is for life on earth. Marriage between Christ and His church is for eternity. We have God’s design for marriage to show others that a man’s love for his wife and a wife’s submission to her husband is the perfect example of Christ’s love for His church and His church submission to Him. Grace exemplifies God’s design for marriage and a marriage would magnify grace.
6. Very little financial troubles… If we would just eliminate divorce, that alone would eliminate for a significant amount of financial woes in society. A marriage under God’s design would eliminate foolish spending by consumers tempted by worldly pleasures. The focus of financial security would center on the family needs according to God’s will, and not on the desires of world.
7. No more abortions…Life starts at conception because the focus is on God’s design that human sexuality creates life. This can only happen within the confines of marriage. Aborted babies would be unthinkable in this society because life is the most precious gift of all.

This is certainly not a definitive list but the areas considered have put tremendous strain on the family. We pay a heavy price when we break the boundaries of marriage, family roles, sexuality, and God’s will for our lives. The fact that this society does not exist is because we have all missed the mark because of our disobedience to God. To say that this marriage according to God’s design could not happen is not true. Society needs to seek first the kingdom of God in order to make this possible. The body of Christ should be the ambassadors of a holy marriage

Some of you reading this are saddened by the reality in your own lives and that your marriage or your parent’s marriage ended in divorce. Some may read this because you aborted a child and you cannot shake the guilt. Some of you are addicted to alcohol, drugs, or pornography. Nearly all of these horrible sins come from years growing up with a broken family, a broken society, and broken individual lives. We are all accountable for our personal lives, yet many have experienced horrible conditions as children, having no say with someone else’s decision to ruin their life. Perhaps your bitterness of believing you deserved a better life keeps you from becoming the person God wants you to be. Maybe you blame God for your pain.  


So where do we start? How do we make society, families, and marriages according to God's will? I believe it starts with the individual. We are all made in the image of God, either male or female, and if we do life according to our will, and our design, and not according to how God made us and how he wants us to function with a marriage, a family, or a society, there will be consequences to pay. Often our wrong individual decisions hurt others. Combine this within a society and the consequence of one sin can ruin many lives. So what is the solution?

In order to be reconciled to God and please God, we must be perfect. God demands perfection by keeping all of His Ten Commandments. Well guess what? None of us has kept these commandments. Sin is defined as “missing the mark.” We must pay the penalty of this “missing the mark” of perfection.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. 

God loved us (His creation, every individual man, woman, and child) enough to send His only begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ to die in our place for the penalty of our sins. We stand condemned in our sins unless we by faith believe that Jesus Christ died in our place. God wants to reconcile to us, but God cannot tolerate our sinful condition,. God loves, but God's love includes justice. Someone must pay for the tragedies of broken families, deadbeat dads, promiscuous wives, and rebellious children. The very pain from disobedience of God’s laws leaves individual lives, families and societies in ruin. Someone needs to pay for the lost lives of abortion. Someone needs to pay for the breaking of families through hardhearts that divorce. Someone needs to pay for the exploitation of the human body. Since none of us is without sin, we must pay.

My friends, the Lord Jesus Christ paid for all of this. He has come to set us free of our captivity of sin. Only the Lord Jesus Christ can take away the guilt, pain, addiction, and misery of our broken lives and families. Restoration begins with Him and if you hear His voice today do not harden your hearts. Today is the day of your salvation. You need to be reconciled to God, and He wants to reconcile to you.  It is by a faith in the Lord Jesus Christ through the power of Holy Spirit that we can become reborn, and become a child of God. We can become a new creation in Him and right the wrongs that we did to others. Repentance and forgiveness can mend wounds in our lives, families, and marriages. Forgiveness can restore our own hard and bitter hearts if we put our hope, our trust and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. We can become the child, the spouse, the parent, and the individual that God wants us to be...and He will get the glory.  

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. 18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. 21But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

In Christ’s love,

Neil