The Myths of Marriage Permanence: Marriage Is God’s “Idea”

There seems to be some confusion surrounding the idea of marriage permanence. One of those myths is that many believe that God’s plan for marriage permanence was His “idea”, and not what He “commanded” from the beginning.  The whole point of creation was to bring Him glory. Marriage is a very significant part of bringing Him glory, and when we deviate, or exclude marriage permanence to His “idea” and not His command, we make Him to be other than what He truly is. 

Since marriage was from the beginning and before the fall of man (Gen 3), anyone who enters into this covenant must consider the consequences of believing this covenant does not require remaining in the marriage for life. Since God enters into the very fabric of a covenant (Gen 2), it make it eternally important to remain in His providence when things go wrong. If we say marriage is anything other than what God commanded it to be, we are in danger of making a god in our own image.

I have considered the many myths that surround the thought that a marriage can end in other ways than death. It is no surprise that divorce is the most sought after means to end a marriage. Yet, when Moses suffered divorce, it was intended to make a person think about marriage as it was in the beginning and less about appeasing their hard hearts. The Lord Jesus Christ makes it convincing clear that marriage is from the beginning and that in order to divorce, one would have to defy the law of marriage…one man and one woman for life. (Gen 2:24; Mt 19:4-6; Mk 10:6-9) His disciples understood the significance of marriage,  “If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.” (Mt 19:10)
It is true that Moses suffered a man to divorce his wife should he find her to be unclean (Deut 24:1), but the spirit of the law must always consider the repentance of a woman and the mercy extended by the husband to forgive his wife. The Lord Jesus Christ makes it clear that the marriage covenant cannot end in divorce, but rather makes divorce as a way to force repentance so that a marriage can be reconciled. (1 Cor 7:10,11)The consequences of a husband handing his wife a divorce decree placed the matter into the hands of the man who would take an unclean woman to be his wife. It also denied this husband of ever reconciling to his wife since he handed her over to another, less the land be defiled. (Deut 24:4) Besides this, the Lord asked these charlatan Pharisees, have you not read that marriage is one man and one woman for life? (Gen 2:24) You have heard, but now I say…

It is simple to understand that a man who divorced his wife during the law of Moses, did so never believing that his wife was worthy of repentance, let alone forgiving her if she did repent. This is why the Lord said, Because of the hardness of your hearts, Moses suffered you to divorce your wife.(Mt 19:8; Mk 10:5) Rather than a man believing the book of Genesis (which was the first book describing the law of marriage Genesis 2:24), and that marriage was a very important part of glorifying God, a man could forsake the love of God to appease his own heart. After all, the greatest commandments of the Law of Moses was to love God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. What for does this say about a love for the spouse of covenant…a covenant of marriage that you declared before the God of all creation?

Matthew 22: 36-40 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

I believe that the key to understanding God’s command for one-flesh covenant marriage is to understand the very purpose of the Gospel. Paul said that marriage is not unlike the mystery of the Gospel, that it is a representation of Christ’s love for the church. (Eph 5:31-32) When you make a vow of marriage before God, you are giving up ALL rights to your own singleness and have entered into a binding covenant to become one with your spouse. This vow has nothing to do with the vow your spouse made to you as it has more to do with binding as one-flesh before the very witness of the Creator of marriage. It is not hard to understand that marriage is bound with the hand of God and thus He stands in co-covenant with the one-flesh couple. Compare this to the Son who bound in covenant with His church by the very vow He extended to the Father…Not my will, but your will be done. (Luke 22:42) The Lord Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake His bride. 

When a spouse commits sin against the other spouse, they have committed a sin against the covenant and against God. It is true that when we sin against God, there is required repentance to restore the relationship. God does not only forgive us when we repent, He forgets the sin against us. Not that there will be consequences of sin, but that the sin was justified through the cross of Christ. The consequences serve to show the magnitude of sin and the mercy of God towards that sin.  
A spouse that truly loves God will only enter into marriage as to bring Him glory. He or she will put all faith and trust in Him in even the worst of circumstances. This vow of marriage has God at the center and it is by God’s love that they can only truly love a spouse. Thus, this vow to remain is for the duration…until death do they part.  If ever a sin should occur in the marriage, there are steps to take to bring about reconciliation and restoration. But no sin is greater than the vow, and breaking a vow of marriage not only defies the glorification of God, it is a terrible affront to God’s position in the marriage.

When all things are out of our control, we turn to the Lord. This is no different in the confines of marriage. Since God is in co-covenant, it is so clear to remain in His hands. Those who marry without ever thinking marriage was to bring God glory cannot understand the significance of covenant and will be the first to take the easy way out. What divorce tells them is that marriage does not have power and that God was not a part of the marriage from the beginning. 

If the church does not represent marriage as a lifetime commitment, then why have marriage at all?  A true witness of the Gospel is that spouse who is willing to remain in marriage no matter the cost. A true witness of marriage is that spouse who believes the Lord Jesus Christ paid the cost. Marriage and the Gospel are inseparable, and to believe that marriage is God’s idea and not His command is to believe that the Lord Jesus Christ has no power over sin, or death.  

Col 3:17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

In Christ’s love,

Neil