The "Lie" of Remarriage

A young man and woman leave their respective parents to make vows of covenant marriage to each other. They apply for a marriage license at the county clerk’s office and select a date to exchange vows. Witnessing these covenant vows are family, friends and the local clergyman. The residing Pastor signs the license as a witness and they happily exchange vows at the ceremony.

The vows read something like this:

“I_____, take you____to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife) to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.”

This vow of the marriage is the witness to all in attendance that the husband and wife will remain faithful to each other till death do they part. If this covenant vow was simply a vow to witnesses on earth, then marriage would not be necessary. The truth be told that a covenant vow of marriage is also witnessed and blessed in Heaven. The Lord God of Heaven and Earth is a witness to the vow of covenant since marriage is His design from the beginning.

Gen 2:23,24 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Marriage is a one-flesh bond and a covenant. (Mal 2:14) The vows each spouse makes to each other are singular in nature which seal each other together to become one flesh, and they no longer become two. (Eph 5:31) This is not to be confused with being one flesh in fornication (1 Cor 6:16) but they become one flesh in the bond of covenant marriage. (Mt 19:5,6; Mk 10:8) This marriage bond can only end in death. 

The vow is also monogamous in definition and is never dependent upon the actions of the recipient of the vow. In other words, the vow cannot be deferred or broken by any action of the recipient of the vow. The vow is a promise that is witnessed by and accepted by God. Thus, any deviation of the vow is a direct assault on the character and witness of God. It is a very serious sin to break a vow of covenant, much less a one-flesh covenant vow of marriage. (Eccl 5:1-7) Therefore, it is better not to marry if you do not intend to remain in a one-flesh covenant marriage. (Mt 19:10)

Since the one-flesh covenant vow can only end in death, it is easy to understand why the Lord said what He said about marriage. He makes it very clear that marriage by definition, or the “Law of Marriage”, is one man and one woman for life as it was from the beginning. (Mt 19:4-6; Mk 10:6-9) It was the Pharisees who tested the Lord about the Law of Moses concerning divorce, but it was the Lord Jesus Christ who set the matter straight and said that marriage is as it was in the beginning. There is no mention that the Pharisees argued the fact that a divorce cannot end a one-flesh marriage covenant, and neither should we.

Matthew 19:4-6  And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

We should see the truth as to why the Lord calls all “remarriages” adulterous unions. In fact, there is no such word as "remarriage". It is called "adultery". Divorced people who "remarry" are committing adultery because they have dared to make a vow to another while their spouse of a one-flesh covenant vow is still alive. A person cannot make a vow to another if they have not honored the first vow of covenant to God.

God does not honor a vow to another if a man or a woman lied to Him about a covenant vow to their spouse. It is no mystery that liars will not enter the Kingdom of God. (Rev 1:8) When you do not keep your vow, you have lied to God. Not to mention, you have lied to your spouse of covenant. He or she is not responsible for your vow to him or her, but you are responsible to your vow before God. 

The greatest evil is not necessarily the sin one commits against his or her spouse, the greatest evil is the lie by not keeping the vow. It is one thing to sin against another person, but when you sin against your spouse you are also breaking the covenant vow you made before God. The only solution for any sin is to confess the sin and repent of the sin so that there is reconciliation and restoration. The same is true in marriage since the spouse of covenant has long since made a vow to love in times such as this…"for better or for worse". 

This is why marriage is not unlike the covenant the Lord Jesus Christ has for His bride the church. He is ALWAYS faithful and loves us perfectly because He shed His blood on our behalf. We may stumble and fall, but He is the perfect husband who is willing to forgive us when we repent. He will never leave us or forsake us. We may walk away (divorce) from Him, but he will never walk away from us. 

So too is marriage an example of this Christ-like love. If we believe that the actions of our spouse is a reason to divorce, then we really do not understand what it is to enter into covenant with a spouse. Marriage was a perfect gift from God so that man would not be alone. If the body of Christ is not an example of marriage as it was in the beginning, then the world will never see the true definition of marriage.

It should be necessary to note that there are millions of people in adultery because they dared to make a vow to another while they have a living spouse of covenant. The eternal lie is to listen to and believe ANY clergy or state official who tells you that you can make a vow of marriage to another when your covenant spouse of youth is still alive. You are a liar if you make a vow to another since you have lied to God. 

Your vows SHOULD have read like this:    

“I_____, take you now,____ instead of ______to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife) to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.”

Unfortunately, millions believe a civil divorce paper ends a one-flesh covenant marriage just because they were taught to believe such nonsense. If the Lord Jesus Christ says that death is the only way a marriage can end, what makes you believe a civil divorce paper can end your covenant marriage? If you “remarry” another while your spouse of covenant is alive, you not only enter into adultery, you have lied to God because you did not keep your covenant vow to your first spouse. Then you expect Him to honor your second, third, or forth vow? 

There is hope! The Lord Jesus Christ is the answer. If you repent of your sins He is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Repenting from adultery is exiting your adulterous and unlawful remarriage since it never was and never will be a marriage in the Lord. (1 Cor 7:39) I wrote a post several years ago on how to repent of adultery remarriage. There is no “ex” spouse, there is only a spouse of covenant, and to deny this truth has eternal consequences. 

In conclusion, I believe it is eternally important to defend one-flesh covenant marriage. Unfortunately, the institutionalized 501c3 congregationalism clergy/laity system will not defend marriage. It is up to the “body of Christ” to defend marriage as one man and one woman for life. Are you a part of the body of Christ that defends one-flesh covenant marriage, or do you defend divorce and remarriage? The answer is in the truth of the Gospel because the truth of the Gospel is found in the definition of marriage.

Eph 5:31,32 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

In Christ’s love,

Neil

An Open Letter To Dr.Tony Evans

Dear Dr.Tony Evans, 

I write to you in the love of the Lord Jesus Christ, who came in both grace and truth. Consider this letter as a loving exhortation so that you would come to repentance on what you teach, preach and believe about marriage, divorce, and remarriage (MDR). The reason for this open letter is to expose the hypocrisy of what you believe on MDR so that you would come to repentance.

I believe with all my heart that the majority of Evangelicals have bought into the lies that were established in the writings of the Westminster Confession of Faith (WCOF) concerning MDR. You Dr. Evans are a true supporter of what the WCOF has to say about MDR, and you take it a step further by what you believe about “spiritual death” and your understanding of approving civil divorces through church court and church discipline. I have already addressed this erroneous teaching here. Another great rebuttal to your “spiritual death” and ‘divorce court” teaching is this post from UDIU: "What? The Bride of Christ Deputized as "God's Coroner"?"

Tony, I believe that the moral decay of society is a direct result of God’s wrath on what Evangelicals have done to “redefine” one-flesh covenant marriage. I believe that the same-sex marriage (and soon to be polygamy) is an assault on the hypocrisy of men and women who believe that divorce can end what God has joined in Heaven. I believe that the majority of Evangelicals have no power, or EVEN the right to defend marriage when they have long since capitulated on the true definition of marriage as one man and one woman for life. (Gen 2:24; Mt 19:4-6; Mk 10:6-9) 

The main questions surrounding the Evangelical defense of divorce and remarriage always center on the ambiguous verses of Matthew 5:32, 19:9 and 1 Cor 7:15. There is no question that there are multiple interpretations of these verses, and there is a great division of the church on the permanence of marriage. The fact is there is only one interpretation, thus all interpretations contrary to the true interpretation will have considerable, if not eternal consequences. I have complete confidence that all scripture centers on the grace and truth of the Lord Jesus Christ and that marriage by definition will forever be one man and one woman for life. 

The reason I wrote this letter was from a question which was offered in a live video event hosted by your Tony Evans Facebook page. You offered viewers to send questions for a live response to those questions on September 6^th at 4pm Central time. You asked viewers to post questions with the #kingdommarriage hashtag. I listened to the entirety of that 30 min live broadcast knowing that you would not answer my question. However, I was interested in listening to your response to a very specific question from a specific viewer. I sincerely believe your response to that question should have convicted you on what you teach, preach and believe on divorce and remarriage. (Note: As of the date of publishing this post, you have not decided to publish the 30 minute video...)

The question was this: “Will you address biblical polygamy and why it is no longer practiced?”

This is a very good question. As you know, God permitted polygamy (multiple wives to one husband) as David and Solomon had many wives. We also know that Abraham had two wives (Sarah and Hagar), and so did Jacob (Leah and Rachel… not to mention their handmaidens). The fact is God allowed, or we would say permitted polygamy up until the New Testament. The truth is that even though polygamy was permitted, it also brought severe consequences throughout history. There is very little "good" that has resulted in multiple wives, other than these "situations" resulted in the coming of the Messiah and the New Testament.  

The Biblical definition of marriage is found in the second chapter of Genesis (2:24) and the Lord Jesus Christ makes this a specific point when He addresses the Pharisees of the Old Covenant laws (Mk 19:4-6; Mk 10:6-9). If we take the Gospels into context, we must make a distinction that everything prior to the Lord’s death, burial, and resurrection is Old Testament instruction which points to New Covenant truth. This includes what we teach, preach, and believe about marriage.

Therefore, we can make a conclusion that polygamy is no longer applicable to the New Covenant. A man cannot take another wife if there is a covenant marriage with one woman (The Law of Marriage). The same man cannot divorce his covenant wife and “remarry” another because she remains his covenant wife until death. This Law of Marriage today is as the Lord says it was in the beginning. (Gen 2:24; Mt 19:4-6; Mk 10:6-9). The New Covenant sets the standard of marriage as God made it to be from the beginning…one man and one woman for life. No excuses, no exceptions.

To your credit Dr. Evans, you made it very clear that God “doubles down” on polygamy by stating that New Covenant marriage allows one man and one woman. You made it very clear that marriage is only one man and one woman because of what the Lord Jesus Christ established as a Kingdom Marriage. You very much believe that the New Covenant overrides the definition of marriage when it comes to polygamy since the Lord Jesus Christ is the official spokesman for ALL things, including marriage. (Col 1:15-20)  

Why then Dr. Evans would not the New Covenant “double down” on divorce,..or does it?

I would definitely tell you that the New Covenant does indeed “double down” on divorce, exactly in the same way the “New Covenant “doubles down” on polygamy. There is ample and concise scripture that tells us that a one-flesh covenant cannot end in divorce (Mt 19:4-6; Mk 10:6-9; Ro 7:2,3; 1 Cor 7:10,11, 39) and that ALL “remarriages” after a divorce of a one-flesh covenant are unions of adultery (Mt 5:32;19:9; Mk 10:11,12; Luke 16:18; Ro 7:2,3; Heb 13:4) and not marriages in the Lord (1 Cor 7:39). In fact, divorce was only applicable to the law of Moses which was permitted by Moses because the people of Israel had hard hearts. (Mt 19:8; Mk 10:5)

The Lord Jesus Christ says, “You have heard, but I say” to both polygamy and divorce. It is hypocrisy to teach that polygamy is not applicable if you teach that divorce is still applicable. In fact, you actually teach that polygamy is applicable because you permit people to “remarry” after a civil divorce. You “sanctify” the adultery by applying scripture that permits a person or person to exit the vows of covenant to make new vows to another. You must be made accountable to many who are in serial polygamy because of your teaching. 

Even though this erroneous and damnable teaching redefines marriage, God is full of mercy and grace in this since the sole purpose of covenant marriage is to reconcile the union. The repentance required from an adulterous remarriage is to end the adulterous union and return to the spouse of covenant, or remain unmarried until death (physical, not spiritual) ends the covenant.  One cannot simply "apologize" for their adultery and still remain in adultery. The Lord says, “Go, and sin no more”, he never said “Go, and remain in your adultery”. One must essentially apply a civil divorce to the civil remarriage as a "witness" to ending the adulterous union.

What does repentance look like for you, and to those who teach contrary to the word of God? I have already addressed this in a letter to all Pastors and clergy who have twisted the word of God to allow both divorce and remarriage. The cost is high because the sin has run deep. The consequences are significant, but this repentance will have a profound impact for generations to come.  If you want to teach “Kingdom Marriage”, then you must teach that marriage is a one-flesh covenant between one man and one woman for life, no exceptions no excuses.  

I pray Dr. Evans in the love of Christ that you would consider the magnitude of denying the truth that one-flesh covenant marriage cannot, and will not end in divorce. There are thousands of souls at stake. The Bible is the story of Christ’s love for His bride, and the church of the Lord Jesus Christ MUST defend marriage, exhibit marriage, and be a witness of the Gospel in marriage as one man and one woman for life. Any other definition of marriage is not marriage at all. Dr. Evans, there is still time to repent.  

In Christ’s love,

Neil